Ongoing Equilibrium

I went to the doctor today. It was my annual wellness exam and I was establishing myself as a patient with a new primary doctor at a new health center. As my doctor reviewed my information and read the medical history I provided, she paused at the section on existing medications.

“Mounjaro?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“Are you diabetic?”

“No.” The perplexed look on her face told me I needed to provide additional information. “I wanted to lose weight, so I got with a friend of mine who is a healthcare professional, and under his guidance, I began taking the injections as part of an overall wellness and fitness plan.”

“I see,” she commented. “How long have you been taking the medication?”

“Six months. Since last October.”

“And how much weight have you lost?”

“Sixty pounds.”

Although my doctor is from Brazil, the look in her eyes screamed a very Southern “Do what now?”

She and I went on to dialogue about how it wasn’t just the medication. It was actually a combination of the Mounjaro, changes in diet, and a new exercise routine. The more we discussed it, I thought about how the technique of balancing three knives on glassware serves as a good analogy.

Knife balancing on glassware is a display of opposing forces (gravity, friction, and the center of mass), where equilibrium is achieved through the precise manipulation of the physical principles at play. When three knives are carefully arranged on top of each other, their weight distribution and geometry come into play. Each knife’s center of mass must align precisely with the support point on the glassware to maintain stability. Additionally, the friction between the knives and the glassware provides the necessary grip to prevent slipping.

I firmly believe that in my specific case, the results I’ve achieved would not be attainable if not for all three factors at play.

By slowing gastric emptying, the medication keeps me feeling full longer and it eliminates the ‘food noise’ that used to crowd my head and lead to binge snacking. Couple that with a change in diet to focus on a higher intake of protein and fiber, both of which take longer to digest, and the result is eating a lot less because overall I don’t feel hungry all the time. This makes it easier to live week to week at a calorie deficit. Add in the new habit of working out, and now my body is burning more calories and building muscle mass.

The end result is I have more strength and energy, and it’s easier to do more because I weigh less.

I’m sharing this because I’ve had less-than-supportive reactions from friends and acquaintances about using medication to lose weight. Drugs like Ozempic and Mounjaro are not silver-bullet fixes to the problem of being overweight. You can’t get on the meds, continue to eat eight slices of pizza, and think you’re going to lose weight. If anything, the attitude towards food needs to change first. Understanding limits, portion control, and food swaps is critically important to the success of any weight loss journey.

Like the knives, everything works together. One component by itself can make a slight difference, but it takes all aspects of the process to reach the goals that can be life-changing. For me, if I don’t lose another pound, I’ll be happy with where I am today. That being said, I don’t want to view my success so far as a destination, but rather as a starting point. Achieving my initial goal has opened the doors for me to set new goals and targets as I build upon my new fitness foundation. Things I did not think possible when I started in October are suddenly within reach, and mental desperation and has given way to newfound determination.

I would be remiss if I did not mention the fourth – and most important – component in my weight loss experience so far: Prayer.

I’ve spent a lot of time both before and since last Fall praying for help with this journey. Praying for patience when it comes to results. Praying for discipline when it comes to meals. Praying for wisdom and discernment in trying to find out what workout routines work best for me. Praying for acceptance of whatever God has in store for me as a result of this experience. It’s been an exercise of taking to heart the quote from Mark Batterson: “WORK like it depends on you. PRAY like it depends on God.”

You’ve got to put in the work and trust God with the results.

Fitty

It started with a blasé approach to answering a question.

“For your chart, may I have your height, current weight, and goal weight?”

I hadn’t weighed myself in quite some time, mostly because I knew I was overweight and didn’t want to deal with that reality on a regular basis. I took an educated guess, but one that was driven by shame and made me look not as horrible in the eyes of my friend and weight loss counselor.

I replied to that portion of the question with 275 lbs. As for goal weight, I shrugged my shoulders and picked a number. 220 lbs. Sure. Why not? As if that was an attainable goal.

Last September, I would have been thrilled to drop fifteen or twenty pounds, and little did I know (or perhaps I didn’t want to know) that I was actually 285+ pounds and not trending in a downward direction. For the years leading up to that moment, I had kinda’ cared about my health, but not to the extent that I was willing to make a change. I did a little bit of exercise here and there, but nothing consistent and definitely not anything strenuous.

Then Lee and I had dinner with our friends Jennifer and Andrew, and we saw the changes they had made since making the decision to embark on a fitness and wellness journey. Change is not the right word. Transformation is more appropriate. Their experience was so transformative, they launched their own business to help others experience the same joy they experienced by making positive changes in their lives.

To say I was inspired by Jen and Andrew is an understatement. Inspired. Motivated. Jealous even? Whatever the emotion, Lee and I walked away from that dinner (she walked, I waddled) with the feeling of, “I want that in my life.”

It’s been 174 days since that fateful dinner with Jen and Andrew, and my world is not the same. I’ve previously blogged about the investment Lee and I made in ourselves, from medicine to exercise equipment to fitness coaching subscriptions to new clothes. More importantly, we made a change in our mindset about how we looked at nutrition, diet, fitness, and betterment. It’s been a journey and one that I am so thankful we decided to undertake following our meet-up with Jen and Andrew.

I’m in my fifties and I have a mental goal of where I want to be and how I want to feel when I get to my sixties. This morning, I completed my 50th iFit workout of the year. Walking, strength training, 5K training, and some yoga have all contributed to where I find myself today.

And where I found myself this morning was staring down at the scale in my bathroom doing the mental math to determine how much weight I’ve lost since last year.

The scale read 226 lbs.

The math came out to over fifty pounds.

The feelings of joy and accomplishment were tempered by the knowledge this is not a destination for me, but rather a starting point. I have bigger goals to achieve, not so much in terms of weight loss, but instead in terms of strength, endurance, and flexibility. Being lighter and feeling stronger now allow me to take on these new challenges.

Still, the moral of the story is that I’m not special. There’s nothing unique about me that allowed me to get to where I am so far on this journey. I will say I am blessed that my work situation, both the combination of working from home and having a schedule that starts later in the morning, does make it easier to make time in the AM to work out. But transformation begins with a mindset, and once you make up your mind to change your life for the better, the solutions will start falling into place.

If you’re thinking about making a change in your life, I pray that you give yourself grace and that you find the resolve to press ‘Go’ on the next chapter in your life. If I can do it, I know you can too.

Oh ….. and don’t be afraid to ask for help. I would not have been able to get here without the support of my friends network, specifically Jen and Andrew.

Thirtysomething

I never watched the ABC show Thirtysomething when it was on the air, probably because I was only 18 when it went off the air after its fourth season. By all accounts, it was a very good show and it appears it was a precursor to modern-day adulting dramedies such as This Is Us and A Million Little Things.

But this blog post is not about television shows past or present. Rather, it’s a bit of a celebration for me and my weight loss journey. Last month I wrote about surpassing a certain milestone with my weight. Now, a little more than five weeks later, I did it again. For the first time since the early 2000s, my weight is consistently below 240 pounds.

I’ve mentioned before that the key to any fitness or weight loss journey is consistency, but I have to attribute this particular accomplishment to changes Lee and I have made to our overall diet. Being conscientious of what I eat has been the biggest – and hardest – change in my lifestyle since I kicked off this new routine last Fall. There have been times when I really wanted to eat something decadent or eat a lot of something that was only mildly bad for me, but being able to lean on restraint has been a lifesaver. I try to analyze every food choice I make and determine if it supports or negates my goals, the direction in which I am moving, and all the hard work I’ve already put into the new me. It’s not easy, but the results so far have proven it’s worth it.

What has really motivated me is this quote from Chris Pratt as he discussed his transformation to play the role of Star-Lord in the MCU. “Eating was fun but the times between I felt like crap. Now, eating is boring, but the times between eating I feel great.” That’s how I look at it. That’s how I have to look at it. Otherwise, it would be so easy to revert back to the guy who not just finished off his plate, but also finished off yours. I loved eating and I often ate to excess. Now, I look at meals not so much as pleasure moments, but rather as fuel for what I need to get me through my day.

I guess, in summary, it’s a type of discipline. It’s a discipline to the goals I’ve set for myself. It’s a discipline to the idea of where I want to be and how I want to feel a year from now. It’s a discpline that, hopefully, will have me talking about twentysomethings by the end of March.

The Full Weight of It

“Go ahead and step on the scale for me, please.”

Tina, the phlebotomist at the OneBlood office in Zephyrhills was as sweet as a person could be given it was 7:00 AM on a Saturday morning. I had scheduled an appointment with this location to donate platelets. Although I’d much rather spend three hours on a Saturday morning doing other things, I understand how important it is to donate when possible.

She checked the weight and entered it into her system. Just then, a thought popped into my brain.

“Would you have taken my weight the last time I was here?”

“Yes,” she replied.

“Do you mind looking that up for me?”

As Tina checked her computer, I checked the calendar on my phone to see the last time I donated at that location. October 15, 2022. That was fifteen months ago.

“You weighed in at 285 pounds last time.” She looked at me as I stared at her. Tina then looked back at her screen and connected the dots between my weight then and my weight now. “245. Congratulations,” she said as she gave me one of those not-to-shabby head nods.

It was a great way to start the weekend, and an excellent realization of the work Lee and I have put into getting fit, eating right, and feeling better. Our weight loss journey began in earnest last October. After carrying all those extra pounds and feeling like crap and being embarrassed by photos, I knew I needed to make a change. I was the epitome of the cliche, being sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I’m not yet where I want to be, but if I am being honest with myself, I am so much closer than I ever imagined was possible. I look forward to continuing to shed weight and get back into running. I have a more clear idea of how I want to look and feel as I step tomorrow into my fifty-second year of life. But more importantly, I know that I never want to go back.

For Lee and me, this isn’t a phase or a temporary ethic. We’re four months into a lifestyle change, one that will continue to guide us into more fit and healthy versions of ourselves. It is a journey and these changes don’t happen overnight. We’re enjoying learning about different meals and new exercises. We feed off each other as we talk about our workouts for the day. And now, we are really loving having to shop for new clothes because what we have no longer fits (I literally have no jeans right now I can wear).

I’m thankful for the serendipitous moment of realization that was Saturday morning; a moment that allowed me to remember the sweat, pain, and soreness are all worth it. Still, the journey has only just begun.

Make It Personal

Speaking from experience, so many of my attempts in the past to lose weight, work out, and eat clean failed, in part, because I got into my own head. There was this unspoken pressure of trying to match or keep up with what others were doing. And with that came the compounded problem of seeing results in others and none in the mirror.

Impatience is a vicious enemy that can eat your goals and dreams alive if you let it.

What I’ve learned since I kicked off this new effort last fall – and what I continue to learn as I progress – is that this fitness journey is for me. I want to feel better. I want to feel stronger. I want to be healthy. This means the path I follow is my own. The timetable I dictate is my own. The standards I set are my own.

I think this is best summed up by this TikTok video by Lauren Pak.

I love working out at home because it strips away the intimidation and anxiety I would feel when I went to a traditional gym. If I fail with a rep or a movement, it’s okay. If I struggle, it’s fine. Even if I cry a little – hey …. don’t judge – I’m cool with it because this experience is my own. I have no one to impress and I have nothing to show off. Rather, I push myself daily to do something because everyday activity is where I want to be. For me, it’s not about how much I can squat or press. It’s not about how thick my biceps are. The value I find in this process is in the consistency. And through it all, it doesn’t have to be perfect.

When on your fitness or weight loss journey, it’s okay to learn what others are doing, but don’t feel pressure to duplicate what others are doing. To borrow from the Nike and Reebok commercials from the 80’s: Just Do It and You Be You.

On The Daily

My word of the year for 2024 is Consistency. I mentioned in an earlier blog post that when it comes to working out, all the clichés are true. And for me, I am anchored to this quote from Craig Groeschel: “Successful people do CONSISTENTLY what others do OCCASIONALLY.”

When I started working out again last October, I knew I wanted to be consistent with my routine. Looking back at the last four months, it’s so rewarding to know that I have been consistent with my routine. Having a system like iFit that keeps track of the workouts helps, and knowing that I fill the gaps - mostly on weekends – with activities that produce 10-15k for that day, I know I am keeping up with my routine and ensuring I am moving my body daily.

This year is only nineteen days old and I just hit my tenth iFit workout. Again, this number does not take into account the days I’ve done manual workouts on the treadmill or stayed physically active doing project work around the house.

When it comes to resolutions, about one in four people quit by the end of week one, and nearly half quit by the end of January. My fitness journey was not a New Year’s resolution, but I do understand 2024 is still in its infancy, and I have so much further to go before I can claim success in what it is I want to accomplish. I can, however, say with pride I have been true to my word for the year, and I look forward to squeezing in a couple more workouts this weekend.

Whatever your goals are, be they near-term or longer in duration, stick with them and let one day build on top of the next. You’ll look back and be glad that you did.

All S(Miles)

So that title should be singular. Mile, as in one mile.

I ran a mile today for the first time in a very long time. It was a run, not a jog, and it was continuous without a break or slow down. Five thousand two hundred eighty feet without stopping.

I finished my guided walking workout on my treadmill and I felt good. Good enough to give running a try.

It was an ambitious decision because even though I’ve jogged a little here and there, the distances were always brief, usually a quarter mile and never more than half a mile. But there was an extra spring in my step this morning, and running at pace felt good.

I finished in twelve minutes and twenty seconds.

When I was seventeen and weighed 145 pounds, I could run a mile in under five minutes. Now, a generation and a hundred pounds later, I am thrilled to have run a mile period. To do it in under thirteen minutes has me giddy with excitement.

I really want to get back into running and participating in local 5Ks on the weekends. Now I know I’m one step closer to making that happen. Five thousand two hundred eighty steps to be more accurate.

49’er

I know what you’re thinking, but this post is not about the NFL playoffs.

Rather, this is a reflection about a different type of post-season. A season in which I am post-lazy about my fitness. A season in which I am post-apathetic about my eating habits. A time in my life when I am post-embarrassed about myself physically, and somewhat proud of the journey to get here, a journey that started ten years ago.

It was in January of 2014 that Lee and I endeavored on a new diet. It’s called The Fast Metabolism Diet by Haylie Pomroy. We put in the effort for a month and saw profound results, but as with most things, the momentum died and life went back to normal in terms of eating and fitness behaviors. Still, 2014 was the last time I can say I stepped on a scale and the number glaring back at me was under 250.

That is until this past week. I remember the feeling of the wry smile on my face as I saw two-four-nine just north of my toes. I immediately thought to myself it would be one of those outlier weigh-ins and that the next morning the five would replace the four. But the next day came and the four was still there. And the next day, and the next day, and the next day.

I’ve waited a week to share this on my blog because I wanted to make sure my weight was consistently below 250 pounds, and when I stepped on the scale and it read 245, I knew it was time to write. Not so much about the personal milestone of my current weight. Not about how I’ve lost thirty pounds since October of last year. Not about how reaching my goal weight seems even more achievable than ever before. Instead, I knew it was time to write about the regret I’ve been carrying for not starting this new journey sooner.

It’s a regret that stretches back ten years when I prioritized comfort over consistency and short-term happiness over hard work. One thing I’ve learned in the last several months of working out and eating right is that all the clichés are true. “In one year, you’ll regret not starting today.” “Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.” “Successful people do consistently what normal people do occasionally.” But the one that’s stuck with me for a decade came from someone in our church group back in 2014.

As part of our church group, we would meet weekly, have dinner, and then go over a bible study for that week. We were in the middle of a church group when Lee and I started FMD, and while everyone else ate pizza, I begrudgingly ate my salad. I was miserable, and the look on my face gave away my emotions. A member of our group looked at me and said supportively, “Remember, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” The cynical corner of my mind immediately produced thoughts with choice words, but I recognized she was trying to be helpful, and I smiled as I chewed on my rabbit food.

I wish I would have taken those words to heart back then. I wish I could have seen that moment for what it was. Instead of the passing comment that I took it to be, I see now it was a sign of what I could do if I continued to put in the effort. It was a serendipitous moment on which I should have leaned, but instead, I let it flippantly pass by my consciousness because what I really wanted at that moment was a slice of pepperoni.

I’m still not skinny, but I’ve never felt better. I wake up every morning and I struggle with myself to get a workout in. But once I am done and I find myself exhausted and dripping with sweat, I revel in the feeling of having completed another step in my wellness journey. My word for the year is consistency, and I know I will not reach my goals if I don’t put in the work daily, and my next goal is to see that four replaced with a three.

Your Voice

I received a text from a friend. The message was in reference to my blog post from earlier this week, and the conversation we shared was one of learning, support, and deep friendship.

When I first began blogging almost … gulp … twenty years ago, what kept me going was the feedback from the handful of friends who took the time not only to read my words, but also to provide encouraging words of their own. They were surprised yet supportive, moved and motivational. They gave me the energy to keep writing when it felt like my work was just a series of keystrokes into a void.

That’s the same energy I felt the other night with my friend. It was the happiness that comes from, “I’ve learned something and I want to share it with you in hopes that you can learn/grow/heal/rest as well.” And through my new journey (yes, I know that word is a little over-used when referring to weight loss), I’ve found myself on the listening end of the equation. I’ve dived into so many accounts on Instagram and Tiktok that specialize in clean eating, healthful foods, weight loss, working out, self-betterment, etc., that I feel the most interesting part of the process for me is being a student of how to live, eat, and feel better.

In stepping back and looking at the macro of this dynamic, it’s easy to see this is no different than my meager beginnings with my blog. Social media didn’t exist in 2004. Now, with the explosion of self-made content, anyone can be a voice in the arena of (fill in the blank).

And although the avalanche of information can be overwhelming, giving voice to something – a cause, a belief, a way of thinking – is not necessarily a bad thing. I subscribe to the notion we’re meant to live life in community. We’re designed by God to be with others. To share with others. There are not enough blog posts to name all the individuals in my life from whom I’ve learned lessons. Ranging from the superficial to the surreal, I am the culmination of all those interactions and all those conversations and all those moments of just sitting and listening. In the end, we’re all connected to each other.

So whatever lessons life has taught you, don’t be afraid to share them with someone interested in learning them. Whatever pain, heartache, joy, and amazement you’ve experienced, let them fuel a conversation with a stranger or a life-long friend. Your voice is a gift and your voice has value. It’s how we learn. It’s how we grow. You never know the positive impact your words can have on someone’s life. Don’t deprive yourself of that blessing.

A Little Less Extra

It started with a cliché.

“I’m just tired of being tired. I’m tired of having no energy. I’m tired of how I look in the mirror.”

Truth be told, it was more than one cliché. It was also the culmination of almost a full year of not being happy with myself. I’d seen other people improve their well-being, and the pathway to what I desired was not rocket science. To borrow a line from my author friend Sue Markovitch, I knew what to do, I just didn’t do it.

Then Lee and I had dinner with our friends Andrew and Jennifer Hewitt. Earlier in the year, they’d launched their new business Caliper Wellness. I met Andrew in 2016 and followed his journey from EMT to nursing school and, now, husband and entrepreneur. Just as impressive are his and Jennifer’s journey with weight loss and nutrition. The dinner meeting with Andrew and Jennifer inspired Lee and me to take the step in the direction we knew we wanted to proceed but just weren’t quite sure how.

Under the guidance and direction of Andrew and Jennifer, we began our regiment of tirzepatide (Mounjaro) which helps us eliminate the food noise associated with hunger. With our appetites suppressed, our portions became smaller and the intervals between meals became longer. But our decision to be better didn’t stop with a weekly injection. Lee and I picked up a treadmill and home gym trainer from ProForm and signed up for an iFit subscription.

The overall initial investment for the medication, equipment, and fitness service was, pun intended, hefty, but the bottom line is Lee and I decided to bet on ourselves. We knew the financial outlay would be motivation to start the work and keep it going, but as I reflect on the last three months since we started our journey, I see it’s more than just wanting to get our money’s worth.

When performing the song Change Your Mind live, Sister Hazel frontman Ken Block will often say, “It’s not your life. It’s how you choose to look at your life.” And for me, that is exactly what my experience has been. I made the decision to alter my perspective on what it means to be fit and feel well. I’ve reworked my thought process about what it is I want to eat (and drink). I’ve changed my mind about what is important in my life.

It’s said discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most. As I look ahead to the next decade of my life, what I want is to be healthy and agile. What I want is to feel energetic and strong. What I want is to – eventually – be able to chase my grandchildren around and be an active grandfather. In order for sixty-year-old me to experience all of that, fifty-year-old me has to start now.

It’s been three months and I’ve slimmed down about twenty-five pounds. More significantly for me, I’m now able to wear my old XL t-shirts that I haven’t worn in years. I also feel stronger than I have since I got out of college. So far, the bet is paying off, but this is only the preface to the new story I am writing about myself. Chapter One begins with this new year, and there is so much I want to do in terms of fitness goals. I want to start running 5Ks again. I want to build muscle mass. I want to be able to do more than two push-ups in a row (seriously, I suck at push-ups).

It feels good to feel good, and now I just want to continue to feel better. Can I get down to wearing just a size large? It would be nice to drop the extra, but I know it’s doable if I stick to the basics.