Can You *BLEEPING* Hear Me Now?

I hate stupid people.

(let that marinate for a sec)

I hate stupid people …. A LOT! Couple that with lazy people and my blood gets boiling. Mix that all in with someone who allegedly gets paid to help me out (i.e. customer service representatives), and my brain just wants to implode.

<insert Rod Sterling voice here> Picture if you will, a man …. trying simply to upgrade his mother’s cell phone. Caught between the space and time of distance and circumstance. Trying to order a phone here so that it can be delivered there. A simple man trying to do a simple deed. What will he do when he realizes that upon clicking a button labeled ‘Live Chat Support’, he’s stepped into ….. the Batshit Zone.

[this is the actual transcript of my customer support ‘experience’ with Verizon Wireless]

You are now chatting with ‘Tanika’

Tanika: Hello. Thank you for visiting our chat service.  May I help you with your order today?

Tanika: You’ll enjoy America’s Best, Most Reliable Wireless Network.  

Gil: Why would I be receiving the following message when tyring to complete my online order?

Gil: (The billing and credit card address must be the same for phone and service orders.)

Gil: Sorry

Gil: We cannot verify the shipping address you entered. Please correct your shipping address and select the ‘Continue’ button below.

Gil: ^^that is the error I am getting.

Gil: I’ve manually enterred the shipping address twice

Tanika: Because your billing address and credit card address needs to be the same. Is your shipping address a P.O. Box?

Gil: No. My shipping address is not a PO Box.

Gil: ..and my billing and credit card addresses are the same.

Gil: I am trying to upgrade my mother’s phone.

Gil: She lives in Miami and I want the phone sent to her there.

Tanika: Okay did you your billing address in as the shipping address as well?

Gil: My billing address is different than the address to which I want the phone shipped.

Gil: I am in Tampa. I am the account holder. I am upgrading a device on my account. I want that device sent NOT to me, but rather to my mother who lives in Miami.

Tanika: Are you sure you are entering her address correctly?

Gil: Did you really just ask me that?

Gil: Did you NOT read where I typed I manually entered the adress TWICE?

Gil: What would cause the following error message?

Gil: We cannot verify the shipping address you entered. Please correct your shipping address and select the ‘Continue’ button below.

Gil: …and what does Verizon use to ‘validate’ an address?

Tanika: The system does not recognize the address, so you will need to put in your address and when you receive the phone send it to your mother.

Gil: Are YOU going to pay for me to send it to her?

Gil: You can’t possibly be serious?

Gil: So becaue Verizon has a broken system, I have to pay out of pocket to send my mother her phone?

Gil: Are you kidding me?

Tanika: I do apologize but that seems to be the only way if the system does recognize the address.

Gil: THAT’S your answer?

Gil: “Too bad, so sad …. system is broken so you’re S-O-L”

Gil: Seriously?

Tanika: Yes or you can contact customer service right now at 1-800-922-0204 to see what the problem is and is they can fix it.

Tanika: if

Tanika: Once again I understand your feeling and I apologize.

Gil: Please don’t hurt yourself going above and beyond to help me out.

Gil: …and thank you for not making this YOUR problem and passing the buck to customer service.

Gil: I really feel appreciated as a customer.

Gil: You’re the best.

Tanika: I am only a pre-sales agent and can not assist with technical issues.

Gil: Wait.

Gil: This is not a technical issue.

Gil: This is a SALES issue.

Gil: I cannot complete a sale (ergo VZW cannot get MY money) b/c your sales system (ergo is not allowing the transactiont to complete.

Gil: So you can hide behind the “It’s not my job” routine all you want, but this really needs to be YOUR problem to fix.

Tanika: Unfortunately,the system not recognizing the address is a technical issue.

Gil: YOU’RE the first point of contact to me … the customer.

Gil: Way to go, over-achiever. I’ll just not upgrade the phone. Thanks for your help.

As it turns out, I started over with the order one more time and it went through. My mom will have her new phone by Friday evening.

2 thoughts on “Can You *BLEEPING* Hear Me Now?

  1. Gil…you crack me up! I hate it when someone tells you that “due to the computer saying one thing…you can’t do something else!”. Don’t get me wrong, I love the computer world, but please don’t rely on it to make ALL decisions!

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