Real Talk

Real Talk

In this process that is transitioning to full-time mission work, things got a lot more real today.

It started this afternoon when Lee and I met with our realtor. Referred by my new boss, our realtor Jeff was very nice and we found him to be confident and personable. After we showed him around the house, we sat down to discuss the details of the house, what additional work needs to be done in order to list it, what the right price point is for the house (given various factors), and the expectations Lee and I should have in terms of timelines and processes.

The experience was informative and eye-opening. On some aspects, Lee and I were right on with what we thought the answer would be, and Jeff’s concurrence was reassuring. On other points, however, Lee and I were way off. So it was a bit of a learning experience, and one we can step through with confidence knowing Jeff has our best interests in mind.

A couple of hours later, we fielded a call from my aforementioned new boss and we discussed the missionary agreement the non-profit put together for us, as well as a possible option for living accommodations in the Dominican Republic. It was a constructive and informative conversation, and one that has brought us one step closer to the reality of becoming full-time missionaries.

After it was all said and done, I took a moment to process it all. Selling the house, moving out, finding an interim solution until we can move to Samaná, and figuring out all the logistics and timelines of actually getting to the D.R. For the first time since we thought about making the move into mission work with Advocates of Love, I felt the weight of this new reality bear down on me. For the first time, I had to take a deep breath and deliberately remind myself to trust God.

It’s not hard to trust God. It’s hard to remember to trust God. And for now, that is what I must do: remember to trust in Him. I know this is a process, and I know I cannot determine all the answers myself. Instead, I will pray for continued patience and wisdom, and I will lean on the words of Proverbs 16:9.


In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.

– Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)


Trust Circle

Trust Circle

The hardest part of my transition into full-time mission work is the knowledge I will be leaving my son when I expatriate to the Dominican Republic. He lives with his mother, so the impact on his daily routine will not be great. However, he and I get together often and I feel sad at the notion of not being readily available to him in the future.

It’s for that reason I asked my friends to come together tonight. As we met at World of Beer, we sat in a circle around one of the restaurant’s fireplace tables on their patio. From former co-workers to guys I know through my music family, they took turns telling Daniel who they are, how they know me, and what resources they can provide to him going forward. My goal was accomplished: to introduce Daniel to the men in my life whom I trust.

I know he will take this evening to heart and store the contact information of each person that was there in his phone. My hope is that should he ever need a man’s perspective or direction on any issue, he can turn for help to anyone of the guys that came out tonight.

What was truly a blessing, in addition to how many men showed up, was their enthusiastic willingness to be there for my son. There was no sense of hesitation or reservation. Instead, I feel the general consensus was this was their way of supporting my missionary efforts. It’s as if Daniel picked up seven new uncles/friends in one night.

For me, I can better prepare for my move knowing my son is in good hands once I leave, and that knowledge is priceless.

The Stranger

I grew up on the music of Billy Joel. His collection of songs makes up the soundtrack of my youth, and I love putting his music on in the background when I’m doing stuff around the house. It really does take me back to a good time in my life.

I was doing that today and his song The Stranger came on the playlist. I’ve listened to the song a thousand times, but today I listened to it for the first time from a completely different perspective.

Well we all have a face
That we hide away forever
And we take them out and show ourselves
When everyone has gone
Some are satin some are steel
Some are silk and some are leather
They’re the faces of the stranger
But we love to try them on

Stranger

As a Christ follower, I do believe we’re engaged in spiritual warfare every day. Our lives are in the middle of a combat zone, and we’re caught between God’s love and mercy, and the wretchedness of the enemy who will do anything to keep us away from Him. It seems like a no-brainer, right? Who wouldn’t want to be with God? But if there’s one advantage the enemy has it’s that he operates on a plain of existence that’s easily visible to our human brains (and bodies).

I struggle every day with setbacks. From the things I see to the things I do, I know they don’t honor God, but I do them anyways. Why? Because they feel good or provide instant gratification or because they’re easy and fit so comfortably into my pattern of lazy. I truly believe laziness, comfort, and convenience are all tools used by the enemy to distract us and keep us away from God. A perfect example is my being to lazy to set my alarm on Saturday night and oversleeping on Sunday morning, thus missing the opportunity to go to church. As they say, the devil is in the details.

Devil

I know the man I want to be, the man I am trying to be. I see the vision of myself five to ten years from now, living and working in a foreign country, calling God’s will my career. I then try to juxtapose that with the person I am now, with the stranger that lives inside me. The guy who still feels the impulse to flip off the idiot in traffic. The guy who has a Masters degree in the use of the F-word in conversation. The guy who struggles with thoughts of lust and sinful desires (darn you, yoga pants!).

Though you drown in good intentions
You will never quench the fire
You’ll give in to your desire
When the stranger comes along

Yet even though the daily battles are real, it’s still about the journey and the process of walking in faith with Jesus.  God provides so many opportunities and tools along the way to remind me of where I need grow, and to guide me in that direction. Just today I came across this article in Relevant Magazine. It was very thought provoking for me, and my takeaway was how we’re all called to be patient with each other, specifically in the context of social media and Internet comments. This is most definitely an area in which I fail daily.

The culture of hot takes and instant Facebook statuses isn’t exactly conducive to the idea of being “slow to speak and slow to become angry,” but it does provide an opportunity to show grace, humility and kindness. We can demonstrate that the way of the Gospel is different than the way of the world by not being quick to respond with biting takedowns every time something happens that “offends” us.

Then I received an email from my friend. In it, he detailed his recent struggles and how he’s closer to God as a result. My friend’s troubles are real and serious. They’ve cost him a lot, both financially and emotionally. It was a sobering reminder of how blessed I am, and why there’s no reason for me to not overcome my burdens when I see what he’s done (and continues to do) to overcome his. The summary excerpt of his message is below.

This entire experience has reminded me that God can work in our lives. We need to understand that He knows what’s best, and trust Him. I pray daily that God helps me avoid situations and feelings that would tempt me … . I am at peace with what happened, and know that God will get me through the rest of what I need to deal with. … When it’s time, God will provide. I know this now. I’m not happy about it but I understand what I need to do, and I know that I’m not alone. And, the reality is that what I have far, far outweighs what I don’t have – God, family, love, friends, and faith. With these things, I am able to face anything.

The word’s to Billy Joel’s song and from my friend’s email are a reminder of our human nature. We’re imperfect beings loved unconditionally by a perfect God. We will fall and He will pick us up. We will fail and he will forgive us. We will be broken and He will transform us into something beautiful.

Though He may seem, to us, like a stranger at times, God knew us and loved us before He created us. He is intimacy and He is love. When the weight of the battle feels like too much, all we have to do is surrender it to Him, the one who’s been there from the start, and will always be by our side.

In His Time

Five years ago last month, Lee and I moved into our current home. The result of us moving from one rental situation to another came after our friend Melissa read my blog post about the ordeal we had earlier in the year in trying to buy a house. She picked up the phone, called Lee, and asked, “What would it take for you guys to get into our house?” We immediately got out of our existing lease and into a rent-to-purchase agreement with our friends. Literally, as they were moving out, we were moving in.
In all the time we spent visiting Andy and Melissa at their home in the Cross Creek community in Tampa, Lee and I would drive home and fantasize out loud to each other, “Wouldn’t it be great if we could buy their house one day? If only we could afford to make that happen.”
Today was that day. It only took five years and a series of small miracles, but it’s a continued testament that God’s timing is perfect. He set us on a path to home ownership following a series of frustrating mishaps, disappointments, and our fair share of tears.
Sold
Our experience is simply a continued reminder: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” – Philippians 4:6