It’s How You Choose To Look At Your Life

I saw a meme recently. It said something to the effect of, “Nothing makes you clean your house like a friend calling and saying he’ll be over in 10 minutes.” Lee and I are hosting our growth group on Wednesday night, and we’ve been in full cleaning mode since the workday ended.

Normally, this would be a gripe session about an aching back, tired muscles, and dry, cracked hands. But before I started cleaning, I took my wife’s advice by grabbing my mp3 player and listening to a sermon from Elevation Church. Now, I know it may sound strange to fill my time by listening to someone preach, but if you’ve never heard Steven Furtick preach, you’re missing out. This sermon, however, was delivered by Steven’s wife Holly, and it helped me remember to keep things in perspective.

Instead of being pissed about how dirty the grout gets, I should be thankful for the tile floors that decorate the house. Instead of getting furious at the cats that shed all over the place and leave nice, regurgitated ‘presents’ on my lanai, I should be thankful for the companionship they provide and the calm, soothing effect they have on my wife (she’ll be the first to tell you there is no better therapist than those with claws). Instead of fretting about having the house look perfect, I should be focused on the opportunity to invite my friends over and share in continued fellowship with them.

My favorite band Sister Hazel has a song called Change Your Mind. Before he performs it, lead singer Ken Block reminds the crowd that, “It’s not your life. It’s how you choose to look at your life.” All you have to do is change your mind.

So when you’re feeling stressed, change your mind. When you think you can’t, change your mind. When you feel alone, remember that He is always there for you. You just need to change the way you’re looking at your situation.

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” –Philippians 4:8 

Keep On Keep’n On

You know that saying, “How do you eat an elephant? ………. On bite at a time.”? Life is like that.

I find myself at work overwhelmed with tasks. What should take five minutes ends up taking fifteen. What should take fifteen ends up taking an hour. 200 unread email messages in my Inbox. I devote an hour to work through them. My reward: 192 unread messages (because so many keep coming in).

I’ve been here before. About two years ago I was staring at my ever enlarging Inbox. It was in the neighborhood of about 350 unread messages. I felt my throat thicken. I started to immediately sweat and quite profusely. My lungs shrunk. It was a full on panic attack. 

I slammed shut my laptop, slid away from the desk in my home office, and staggered into bed, all the while trying to hide the tears from my wife.

I still get anxious – and perturbed and frustrated and exhausted – but now I do two things when those feelings rear their ugly heads. The first is remind myself to put it all in perspective. There are only 24 hours in a day, there is a quantifiable limit to how much I can do, and no matter how much I try to get done, I will never be ‘caught up’. Besides, I decided a long time ago that work does not define me, and I refuse to sacrifice my time with my kids or my wife for the sake of getting one more task completed.

The second thing I do is pray. I’ve written about this before, and the tenants hold true. There is no point in drowning yourself in anxiety, and there’s a freedom in surrendering to God. God provides and God knows what’s best for us. It’s when we try to do it all ourselves that we falter, and it’s only in taking our burdens to Him – be they work issues, home issues, personal doubts – that we find relief from them.

So when you sit at the dinner table, and the main course is one giant elephant, just remember: one bite at a time.

A Look At Stress

This was forwarded to me from my boss, and I found it so apropos given some of the events currently going on in both my life and the life of my wife. I plan to meditate on this next week as I will be de-stressing on The Rock Boat, but instead of water, I’ll be using a 12 oz. bottle of beer.

***

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I …hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

Evolving Perspective

So it feels like months have passed since I last blogged from my hotel room in Kingston, New York. It’s been a whirlwind three weeks since I came back from work stoppage duty in upstate New York, and I honestly don’t even know where to begin.

I surprised my daughter by picking her up at school (I had not told her I was coming back), then Lee and I took the next day off work and spent some serious time catching up (yes, that IS what the kids are calling it these days), and then it was back to the ‘real world’ and easing back into my daily work routine.

There’s been soccer practices and helping the kids with their homework. There’s been catching up on all work projects that were on hold because of the work stoppage. There have been get-togethers at our friends’ house for football, BBQ, and beer. Football season is once again upon us, and it feels so good to have that diversion back in my life every weekend.

It’s all starting to feel normal again.

But this past weekend has challenged my perception and understanding of what normal is. This past weekend reminded me of the burning ideas and passions inside of me, and that greatness is oftentimes not found in normalcy.

I had the extraordinary privilege of taking part in a three day brainstorming session for Epic Change. It was an experience that left me inspired to say the least, and got the creative juices flowing in terms of what we can do to affect positive change in the world. Yes, the world. Not just my neighborhood, not just my city, not just my state; but rather this nice little place we call planet Earth.

Although both big ideas and even bigger challenges came out of our summit meeting, so did the reminder that through love just about anything is possible. That got me thinking of what it is that truly geeks me out (or more eloquently stated, gets me off). The reality is the answer to that question is not found in the 8 – 5 mundane world of my current professional career. So much so that I had a conversation with my boss today about how I don’t see myself in my current role long term. As much as I would like to stay with my current employer, for both financial and logistical reasons, I can hear the grumblings inside my head telling me it’s time for a change.

Of course, these grumblings don’t pay the rent, don’t provide the health insurance, and don’t grant me the flexibility to work from home. Making a change, as enticing an idea as that is right now, can also be overwhelming given the state of our current economy, not to mention my current debt to income situation.

So I am resolved to make the best of the situation and try to change the world – or at the least play my small part in doing so – one action at a time. Through service to others, through the donation of my writing talents, through the giving of my time and resources; it all begins with love and the burning desire to make better that which is in front of us.

Over the course of the next several months, you may see a varying array of blog posts from me on this site. It’s all part of a journey I have decided to take with my friends as we set out to generate love and make a difference in the lives of others. I invite you to come along for the ride. Be careful, however. It’s my understanding inspiration can be quite contagious.