Getting Through With Gratitude

It started with a phone call.

“Christie called. She wanted to tell me about a job opportunity.”

My wife’s tone in telling me about a conversation she had with her former boss was one of pleasant surprise. It was completely unexpected and came at a time when we were weighing our options with regards to leaving our apartment and renting a house.

As it turned out, this new job opportunity for my wife opened the door to us moving into the house we’re now renting. Not only were we able to afford the rent for our current place, but this house also allowed us to have my mother-in-law move in with us once again (we shared a house with her in Tampa for nearly ten years).

This all happened last Fall, with moving day being the day after Thanksgiving. And we’ve been grateful ever since.

As we find ourselves in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, it’s never been more apparent to me how God was working back then to position us now to be better safeguarded from this virus. Weeks before the outbreak first began in Wuhan, China, we were dealing with movers and utility companies and sore backs. Months before we had any realization of what the phrase ‘novel coronavirus’ meant, our focus was on furniture and fixtures. But it’s clear to me God’s focus was on us.

“Can you imagine?”

Lee and I ask ourselves that question almost daily. As we manage our day to day during this safer-at-home season, we wonder what it would have been like had we not moved into this house. With my mother-in-law living twenty miles away in Ozark, Alabama, what would we have done if we were still in our apartment? I think we’d have no choice but to have her temporarily move in with us and take residence in our guest bedroom, a room with only a futon no television.

We would most certainly feel as if we were on top of each other, sharing an already crammed kitchen. Lee and I shared an office in that apartment, a situation that would have been nearly impossible to manage with me working from home during this period (Lee’s current position is 100% remote work).

Truth be told, I cannot begin to imagine it.

But the problems in that scenario would be nothing compared to what others are facing today. Single parents on the verge of losing their livelihood because they have to stay home with their children. Children – as detailed in this amazing piece by Udonis Haslem – whose only real meal of the day was provided by their school. Adults who can no longer visit their aging parents in person. Families who continue to grieve the passing of a loved one.

Yes, these times we’re living through suck right now. As optimistic as we want to be about the end of this pandemic, the reality is ‘normalcy’ may still be many months away. There are so many voices, so many opinions, so much disunity as a result of this virus; I am afraid things may never be quite ‘normal’ again.

But one thing is clear. Hope.

Hope in our medical community, hope in our researchers, and, most importantly, hope in our Heavenly Father.

There is a quote from Mark Batterson that I absolutely love and I try to apply every day to my life. “PRAY like it depends on God. WORK like it depends on you.”

God will always deliver according to His timing, but we each have to do our part in the process. I trust in God and have confidence he will get us through this pandemic. I also trust that God gave the medical professionals and experts the intellect to battle this virus and communicate their findings to the rest of us. I trust God gave me the wisdom to practice the mitigation techniques for preventing the spread of the virus. Hand washing, social distancing, wearing a mask; where others see this as a burden or an imposition, I choose to see it as my way of loving my neighbor.

It’s become mentally fatiguing to read about individuals scoffing at the notion of being cautious with this virus. They proudly and defiantly say God will protect them.

Yes, God is capable of anything, and He may very well choose to provide blanket immunity to the virus to select individuals. But the same logic God-fearing individuals apply to buckling up their seat belt when they get in their car is the same logic that applies to adhering to mitigation protocols against the virus.

I’ll take the analogy one step further. In the same way I would secure my children when they were young in their car seat – because I love them and want to make sure they’re protected – I wear a mask in public because I want to make sure my neighbor is protected.

The extent to which I love God is evident in the extent to which I love other people.

I have to do my part to protect myself, protect my family, and protect my neighbor. I do this all the while asking God to bring an end to this time of pain and uncertainty. Trusting God and taking precautions are not mutually exclusive actions.

“PRAY like it depends on God. WORK like it depends on you.”

This brings me back to the purpose of this post. I firmly believe what will get us through this crisis is gratitude. I know it sounds counter-intuitive. With people losing their jobs, their sanity, and even their lives, how or why would they/we be thankful?

Since the beginning of this pandemic, there’s been a part of me that’s felt if I could be so bold as to try to understand God’s will in all of this, perhaps it is to make us shift our focus onto Him. In every year and across every generation, it’s been so easy to point to something in particular and say, “this is because we’ve lost sight of God.” To be honest, it’s an over-used and conveniently overplayed trope in our national conversation. Still, in this election year where the dissonance between ‘both sides’ has simply grown bigger and wider, it makes sense to me that God is using this as a proverbial slap in the face to wake us up.

 

 

In taking a macro view of this pandemic, I am humbled by what I see as blessing upon blessing upon blessing. No matter how I’ve been impacted, no matter how I’ve been inconvenienced, the fact I am not mourning the death of a family member is a blessing from God. Of the over 77,000 deaths in the United States, those have all occurred to ‘other people’. That was the case until this week when I was notified my father’s close friend from New York passed away. Patsy’s death was a result of complications arising from COVID-19, and it’s the first virus-related death of someone I knew personally.

I can’t begin to imagine what Patsy’s family is going through. I can’t begin to imagine what the families of the over quarter-million people worldwide who’ve succumbed to this disease are going through. I am thankful I don’t have to, and I am praying – and working – fervently to ensure I don’t have to.

I want to be close to God always. But especially in these times, I want to be close to Him. I need to be close to Him.  And I think Tara-Leigh Cobble says it best in her The Bible Recap podcast. “Remembering God is directly connected to our gratitude and thanksgiving. When we express gratitude to God, it knits our hearts to Him and it prompts us to be much more likely to walk closely with Him.”

Repent, all of you who forget me,

    or I will tear you apart,

    and no one will help you.

But giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors me.

    If you keep to my path,

    I will reveal to you the salvation of God.

–Psalm 50:22-23 NLT

Project Gratitude – My Army

Prayer is a powerful thing, and I am a firm believer in prayer. Today I am thankful for this avenue God gave us that provides direct communication with Him.

In the book of Genesis is the story of Enoch, a man who walked, “faithfully with God.” I believe prayer, in conjunction with other instruments of faith such as fasting and devotion, allow us to experience this same ‘walk’ with God.

And although we should pray always, praising His name and in a spirit of thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6), prayer tends to be most common in a time of need.

Much has been said about the negative effects of social media in society, and several aspects of this criticism are valid. I instead want to focus on the positive value of social media, primarily, the ability to rally prayer warriors.

I love the passage in the Book of Ephesians that describes the Armor of God. I think of it as a way to prepare daily against the weapons the enemy uses to distract us from God.

So today, when I went to Facebook and asked for the support of my tribe of prayer warriors, each armed with the knowledge of Christ who lives in their hearts, they responded in full force.

My request was for Lee’s Aunt Mary who recently suffered a stroke. At almost seventy-four years old, the ability to overcome a stroke is made more challenging. Still, nothing is impossible with God.

When over fifty individuals raise their intentions to the Lord, I believe He honors that collective faithfulness. And what a blessing it is to see the response from friends and family as the pray for Aunt Mary. Not only is it tangible, it’s also inspiring and uplifting.

Today I am thankful for Facebook. I am also thankful for the amazing community of family and friends that support me in all I do. It’s a beautiful blessing.

I ask you keep Mary in your prayers. May God’s healing spirit guide her to a full recovery.

Project Gratitude – Online and In Heart

Today I am grateful for online courses. When I first began pursuing a degree in Christian Ministry at Trinity College of Florida, my first class was online. I hated it. Online learning was foreign to me, and I felt I could get so much more out of being in a classroom environment. It’s funny how things change as time passes.

Although there is something to be said about engagement with professors and other students in the classroom, I now love taking my classes online. Over the last eighteen months I’ve learned to adapt to the pace and self-discipline of online education. Plus, I don’t miss the hour commute to the Trinity campus.

Most importantly, however, I remember the bummer that was being in class this time last year and missing out on the College Football Playoff National Championship game. It was normal for me to bring a laptop to class in order to take notes, but I remember deliberately sitting in the back of class so I could discretely stream the game on my computer.

No such concerns this year. With all my classes now online, I no longer have to worry about such petty conflicts. Biblical Ethics or Bama vs. Clemson? Yeah, it was nice not having to deal with that this year.

But as wonderful as it was being able to enjoy the game in the comfort of my own home, the surprise I received later made it truly remarkable.

My son’s parkour classes are every evening from 7-9 PM, and every day we – my kids, my ex, and I – hash out the logistics for that day. The initial game plan was for me to drop Daniel off at class and have my daughter Natalie pick him up. When my son texted us stating he was going to skip class this evening, it released Natalie and me from the aforementioned pick up and drop off duties.

What I didn’t know was that Natalie, whose been accepted to the University of Alabama and had a keen interest in watching the game, would come over to watch the game with me. It was great to share that experience with her. I love that she has a genuine interest in learning the game, and it was so rewarding being able to be a resource for her in that way. It was a spontaneous and different and something I know I will cherish for years to come.

Today I am thankful my son bailed on his parkour class. I am also thankful for the loving and sentimental nature of my daughter, and her thoughtfulness with regards to making an average evening so incredibly memorable. We still don’t know where she will attend, but I am thankful she has a variety of options from which to choose. It’s truly a blessing.

Project Gratitude – Coaches, Cuts, and Cuisine

Today was as enriching as it was long.

Normally. Lee and I like to not pack our weekends with too much to do. That usually makes for a bad Monday. But after having arrived home from our friends’ holiday party at 1:30 in the morning, the alarm was set for 7:00 AM so we could start our day.

First we were off to a 9:15 service at Idlewild Baptist Church. This is not our normal church, but they had a guest speaker today that I just couldn’t miss seeing. Growing up in Miami, Coach Bobby Bowden was someone I loved to hate. His Seminoles teams were always a thorn in the side of my beloved Hurricanes, but now I have nothing but admiration and respect for Coach Bowden. To borrow from Idlewild’s page recapping the event:

Coach Bowden told us about his life growing up in Alabama, his childhood, growing up in the church, playing college sports, meeting his wife Anne, and the start of his coaching career. Most importantly, Coach Bowden told us about his faith in Jesus Christ, and reiterated to us that the most important thing he ever did for his players is to share the gospel with them, and introduce them to Jesus.

I am grateful for the opportunity to have heard Coach Bowden speak and for his affirming message. Much of what he discussed was a truth I already felt in my heart, but hearing his words helped me connect the dots and understand these feelings in a new, more clear manner.

From there Lee and I attended service at our church. Following the service, we had a team build in preparation for our mission trips later this month. We’re sending two team over two weeks to build beds in the Dominican Republic. This is a continuation of the work we kicked off last June, and today’s activity was a step through of the cutting and assembling we’ll be doing on mission. I am thankful for this wonderful team and for our friend Amanda who is the driving force behind the effort to deliver bunk beds to one hundred fifty families in the village of Quisqueya in the D.R..

Finally, Lee and I wrapped up the day with dinner at the home of our friends George and Enaye. We’ve known them since we started attending church at Relevant in 2009, and we’ve been blessed to share so many experiences with them over the years.

About four years ago, George and Enaye adopted siblings from Ethiopia. They stepped out in faith and grew their family by traveling across the planet to bring blessings to a young boy and girl in need of a home. Tonight they invited us for traditional Ethiopian cuisine in celebration of Ethiopian Christmas, and the food was amazing. So rich in flavor, spices, and culture, it was great being able to take part in such a different experience. I am so thankful for the wonderful relationship we share with George and Enaye, and for the joy that is their three children Caleb, Meseret, and Binyam.

Project Gratitude – Getting Ugly

In the summer of 2006, at a music event in South Carolina, Lee and I were introduced to what we now affectionately refer to as our music family. I literally do not know where we would be without the impact this tribe of music-loving lunatics has made in our lives.

Because of our music family, we taken part in amazing floating music festivals, developed deep, inner-circle friendships, traveled to places we most likely never would have on our own, and I’ve even jumped out of a plane.

In fact, it was one of our music family members that introduced us to our church, an event that has truly transformed our lives.

Tonight was no exception. Our friends Jen and Joe hosted their annual Ugly Christmas Sweater party, and since we took part in last year’s shindig, there was no way we could miss this one.

Jen has quite the talent for not only hosting parties, but also making sure they’re entertaining with ice-breakers, games, and – apparently – a well defined, almost Germanesque sense of schedule. But in all seriousness, it was a great time. And it’s not about the prizes for ugliest sweater or the dirty Santa gift exchange. It’s about being with people whose company we genuinely enjoy and about whom we genuinely care.

There’s something unique about the bond we share with our fellow music fanatics. It’s a bond that has been strengthened over the last eleven years by shared memories, meaningful lyrics, loads of laughter, and the occasional circumstance that has left us all in mourning. There’s the saying, “Friends are family you get to pick,” and our music family is exactly that.

Today I am eternally grateful for this group of souls that occupy such a huge spot in my heart, and in particular for Jen and Joe and yet another amazing experience I now get to treasure forever.

Project Gratitude – Prime Time

Today I am thankful for video streaming services. Although I will admit Netflix is the most popular service in my household – primarily because of the original programming and all their Marvel related TV shows – from time to time Lee and I will jump over to Amazon to see what they’ve got to offer.

We love, love, love our Amazon Prime membership. We use it not only to order gifts, etc., but also for lots of everyday, household items. The free, 2-day shipping more than pays for the annual cost of the service, and since we have an Amazon fulfillment center just outside of Tampa, there are certain items we can have delivered the same day. Still, we often forget Amazon Prime Video is included as part of the membership.

Normally we’ll look for new releases of movies we missed in the theater. This time, however, we went off the board and picked something different.

And when I say different, I mean really different.

The movie was The Lobster starring Colin Farrell and Rachel Weisz. It’s about … how can I explain it?

I’ll just copy the synopsis from the IMDB page.

In a dystopian near future, single people, according to the laws of The City, are taken to The Hotel, where they are obliged to find a romantic partner in forty-five days or are transformed into beasts and sent off into The Woods.

Let’s just say writer-director Yorgos Lanthimos was toking on some pretty awesome weed when he put together this screenplay. There really is no other way to explain it.

Although it was utterly bizarre, Lee and I shared some really good laughs, and at the end of the day, that’s what’s most important. Today I am thankful for these happy, little accidents that I get to experience with my wife. I know they’re a huge part of what makes us us.

Project Gratitude – Behind the Scenes

Last year, my wife Lee and I were designated (also read as ‘volunteered’) to be the Mission Team coordinators for our church. Part of the reason is because I participated in three mission trips since January of 2015 and Lee participated in four. Also, Lee and I plan to transition to full-time mission work in the next several years, so managing the logistics and financials for our church’s mission work is good on-the-job training.

I wish I could say the preparation and planning is a true team effort, but that would not be fair to Lee. She’s the brains AND mental brawn that makes everything come together.

Lee has been the person working with our point of contact at SCORE, International making sure contracts are signed, medical release forms are submitted, etc. She was also the person coordinating with the facility director in the Dominican Republic regarding the supplies we’ll need on site for the project work. Lee has established a process for coordinating with our church’s finance director to ensure everything gets paid. Lee even took the time and booked every flight for every individual taking part in the trips.

Lee’s happy plays is managing chaos.

As an added wrinkle, we’re sending supplies down to the D.R. in advance of our trip. Lee figured out the process for working with a freight forwarder, establishing our church as a designated shipper with that company, and making sure everything was in order for pickup by the shipping company. As a result, our table saws and work benches are now on their way to Santo Domingo.

Although we still have some final details to complete, it’s no exaggeration to say these trips would not be happening if not for the diligence and hard work of my wife. My role in all of this has been supporting at best, and although I know there are a ton of little things that happened today for which I am grateful, I have to reserve today’s post for the gratitude I have for my wife. She is my friend, my partner, my confidant, my guide, and so much more.

I have this line I like to use when describing my wife. I am nothing without her and everything because of her. I thank God for the blessing it is to be married to such a wonderful woman.

Project Gratitude – Spot On

At the core of Gil 2.0 – the post-divorce, get life back on track Gil that emerged in 2006 – is music. Specifically, live music. There is something uniquely special about being at a concert, especially if you share that experience with those you love.

But when I can’t be in the audience, I love to put on a good song and let it take me to a particular place and time in my life. This evening, as I was driving home from dropping my son off at his Parkour class, I had a craving for nostalgia. I opened my Spotify app, looked up U2, and listened to the song ‘One‘ as I drove home. It was an escape.

Music on demand is amazing technology, and today I am grateful for my Spotify (and other music listening apps I frequent). To be able to think of a song you want to listen to and then easily listen to it is quite awesome.

I am also thankful for the time I got to spend with Daniel before his class. We normally don’t spend much time together throughout the week, so being able to hang out with him and take him on in a game of FIFA on the PlayStation was a lot of fun. He played as Argentina and I played as Mexico. The games ended in a 2-2 draw.

Once I got home, Lee and I lounged as we caught up on some of the TV shows on our DVR (I think we all should be thankful every day for DVR’s!). And even though the magic of the DVR is that you can skip through the commercials, there is this one commercial for Hulu with a very catchy song, and I had been trying for some time to figure out what song is used in the ad. I paused the commercial, grabbed my phone, and launched the ‘Sound Search’ app by Google. Turns out the tune is ‘Dust My Shoulders Off’ by Jane Zhang. Today I am grateful for the technology that bring such simple joy to my life, and for what is, perhaps, my new favorite song.

Project Gratitude – Back to the Grind

Although I didn’t take any time off during the holidays, the fact so many other people did made it seem like it was a working vacation. Needless to say, getting back into the swing of things at work was not something to which I was looking forward, but it was a relatively easy day at the desk. So I am very thankful God provided an easy transition on this first work day of the new year.

As I continue to record the things for which I am grateful, I wanted to share this image that truly speaks to the core of my spirit of thanksgiving. I think it sums up my story and how God took my broken and made something beautiful.

I am also thankful for my first sale via the LetGo app. Lee and I want to make 2017 a year of downsizing. Although we’ve taken small steps in that direction, we really want to make an audacious effort to get rid of the excess ‘stuff’ we have, either by sale, donation, or gifting to others. The first sale – Lee’s motorcycle helmet – was completed today, and I am stoked at the idea of listing as many items as possible on the app.

I had to meet the buyer of the helmet, so Lee and I decided to make it an impromptu date night and grab dinner. We headed over to Portillo’s and enjoyed the food and each other’s company.

I am thankful I am married to my best friend and partner in life.

Project Gratitude – Chill Day

I love having Monday’s off as a result of a holiday. Although I didn’t have to wake up early, I did (mostly because I forgot to take the trash out the night before, and I heard the garbage truck rolling by a LOT earlier than normal, and I ran outside in my pajamas while clutching the trash bins, with only seconds to spare). So today, I am grateful for the loud ruckus of the trash collecting truck.

I am grateful I was able to complete the minor home project of installing the cat door panel to our sliding glass doors. Now our cats can once again come in or go out to the lanai as they please.

I am grateful for the digital antenna we picked up for the extra TV we have as a result of Santa bringing my mother-in-law a new flat-screen for Christmas. I found the perfect spot on the lanai for the 32″ television, and between the antenna and Chromecast, I see myself spending lots more time out on the lanai.

I am really grateful for my wife’s new prayer closet. This has been a labor of love for her, transforming the tornado-of-a-wreck that was her closet into a special space that is clean, organized, but most importantly, spiritually uplifting. She spent a lot of quality time in her private room this morning, and I am so happy she finally has this space where she can be one on one with God.