Today is my ex-wife’s birthday.

Normally, I would not make mention of it on my blog (even though we have a good, cordial relationship), but she’s been on my mind lately for a couple of reasons.

Firstly, she was very helpful last week following my car accident. She was genuinely and sincerely concerned, and she took care of our Max so Lee could focus on taking care of me post-accident.

Secondly, I was reading my Bible plan this morning and came across Matthew 18. Verses 21 – 22 read:

Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”

No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!

There is a reason my ex-wife is my ex, and I am that reason. Sparring the detail, I will say I’ve learned a lot about forgiveness in the nearly fourteen years since our marriage ended, and I’ve learned it mostly by watching her.

She always put our kids first, even when perhaps it meant swallowing some pride in public. She was always gracious and polite, even when perhaps her inclination was to punch me in the face.

I’ve grown leaps and bounds since beginning my faith walk anew in 2009, but looking back, I can see my ex-wife’s actions toward me in the years preceding 2009 laid the foundation for my walk with Christ. For what is more Christian than being extended forgiveness when you least deserve it?


Happy birthday, Ale. Thank you for being the best mother to our children that I could ever hope for. Thank you for maintaining your generous heart when I gave you a reason not to. Thank you for showing me what it means to model Christ with your actions. I owe you so much more than I can ever say with mere words.

6 thoughts on “Lessons in Forgiveness

  1. God’s grace, given through hearts that love humanity (even when we don’t deserve it), is one of the most beautiful gifts in the world. How wonderful that you have honored her grace on her special day. Our pastor and his wife taught last night on Rx: Prescription for Forgiveness with Matthew 18 being the main point. I love God’s timing, too!!

  2. Gil, thank you for writing this as it beautifully captures one place in time and then again, beautifully captures another place in time. Same two people, same two people in two separate paintings. I am proud of both of you!

    1. Thank you so much, Rick. It’s been a process of growing and acceptance, and I feel blessed to be where I am today with regards to my relationship with my ex-wife.

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