Oh The Irony

Fear is a powerful thing. It can make one hesitate. It can make one doubt. I can be debilitating.

I remember a time in my life when my biggest fear was being wrong. Imagine cashing out your life savings, going to Vegas, and putting it all on a spin of a roulette table. Imagine the surreal, slow-motion experience of watching that little white ball bounce around searching for a place to land. Imagine the angst and anxiety that comes with the waiting and the wanting …. and the praying.

The bouncing stops, the reality is confirmed, the gravity of it sets in.

Shock. Disbelief. Nausea.


I was wrong, by the way. Wrong in so many ways. As I look back at that time and experience in my life – now more than eight years removed from that seminal moment – I see it not as the tragedy I thought it was, but as the moment that my life turned for the better. Yes, for the better.

Of course, when you’re drowning in your own misery and crying yourself to sleep (or, in my case, passing out from the booze), it’s impossible to see the positive. It’s such an incredulous proposition that any good can come from so much pain. But sometimes the answer to what you’re seeking can be found only at the rock-bottom of your soul, and yes, time does heal all wounds.

So if you feel yourself on the precipice of a decision or life choice, or if you’re hoping and praying for a particular outcome you’re terrified may not happen, simply remember ……..

Set Free

4 thoughts on “Oh The Irony

  1. Fear paralyzes and authenticity sets us free when we learn from the mistakes. Thanks for sharing, Gil. I love reading about how your faith has evolved. Everyone has a story and together, God binds beautiful books for His library. Blessings!

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