Alone With God (W@HBC Day 2)

Some of my notes and thoughts from attending Wild at Heart Boot Camp – August 16

I felt safe. Hidden away from where anyone could see me. My legs crossed, my back resting against a plank of wood that makes up one of the walls of the play house in which I sat. Wood and sheet metal haphazardly thrown together to give the feel of a lone outpost on the frontier of the wild west. It was my refuge for my exercise in solitude, for my display of discipline in silence.

Just me alone with my thoughts, a pen an paper in my hands to help capture some of the better ones. And I was eight years old again. Free to dream big and to long for adventure. I’d stare at the daunting mountain and I’d puff out my chest. “I’m not afraid of you,” I’d tell it. “There’s nothing I can’t do.”

But even I did not believe those words. The world of adventure and excitement and discovery lay just outside the walls of my fort, but as along as I was inside the fort, I was safe. Safety equates to comfort. Comfort equates to complacency, and complacency is the sin in which I’ve been indulging for some time now.

He (Adam) replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.” – Genesis 3:10 (NLT)

I don’t believe God wants me to be complaisant. I don’t believe God wants me to sit back and just watch from the sidelines. Through my experiences, God has deconstructed my notions of church, faith, and religion. In rebuilding me, He has reset my understanding of what it means to believe in Him.

He crafted me, much in the same way a wood worker crafts a model boat, putting together the scraps of my former self into something new and useful. Then, he gently placed me on the waters of His will and gave me a nudge.

I can look back now and see how far I’ve come. I can also look ahead and see how much further I’ve yet to go. I do not know the destination, and to a large extent the destination does not matter. What does matter is that I know I am not afraid. What is important is the relationship I keep with God as I progress through my journey.

God never waivers. He will not fail me. I, however, will undoubtedly fail Him. I will lose sight of my direction. Distraction, routine, boredom; all these things will drive me to give credence to the enemy’s whispers and suggestions.

There is an eternity of truth in the old saying “To err is human, to forgive divine.” I am human. I will fail. I will trip up along the way, but I will not stay down. I know that with every step I take, God is there with me. God see’s into my heart, and He will always lift me back up. God wants me to succeed. He wants me to experience joy. He is my biggest fan.

God is also the truth. He is the one constant on which we all can rely. If I hope to be the father I want to be, if I expect to be the husband I want to be, and if I plan to be the son to my mother I desperately long to be, then I need to begin by placing my faith in God and letting His truth and His will lead me.

“The worst thing that can happen to you is for the counterfeit to work.” –Craig McConnel/RHM

Fort Gil

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