Mental Filtration System

Random Writers – Write about something you would do differently if you knew no one would judge you.


If I could *bleeping* do something differently without having to worry what other *bleeping* people would think about it, I would so *bleeping* curse all the *bleeping* time.

I love swearing. I embrace my potty mouth. I *bleeping* curse all the time.

Especially when I am watching sports. I’ve always said I would love to be an NFL color commentator – I think I would be pretty *bleeping* good at it, too – but with my sports Tourett’s, whereby I spontaneously exclaim things when watching a game, I am sure I would lose my job because of my ‘colorful’ language.

Sometimes, it really is such a challenge to have to edit and filter the language that comes out of my mouth. It’s such a *bleeping* pain in the *bleep* to feel so guarded all the time. You all know what I’m talking about. The same language, tone, and demeanor you use at church or a charity fund raiser is not the same language, tone, and demeanor you use when you’re alone in your car during rush hour traffic and you’re running late. Everyone becomes an adversary, and everyone becomes the target of the verbal daggers you throw like a ninja assassin.

So who the *bleep* cares if I swear? Who came up with these *bleeping* restrictive rules of social decorum? Why the *bleep* do I need to watch what I say?

Shouldn’t we all strive to be 100% honest and true? Isn’t that the *bleeping* goal?

Think about it. Wouldn’t it be awesome if, say, during church service you feel the power of God and exclaim a witness of “*bleep* yeah!”? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you met someone for the first time and being so taken aback by their stunning good looks you just blurted out, “Wow you look *bleeping* amazing!”? Seriously, why aren’t we *bleeping* free to be our *bleeping* selves?

I guess that’s where the sense of common courtesy comes in. The same little voice in the back of our minds that tells us to hold the door open for the little old lady making her way into a building, or to set our cell phones to silent before a movie starts, is the same voice that dictates we refrain from cursing in public settings. This is especially true when there are little kids around.

For as much as I let the sailor speak fly when I am home alone or at a bar watching a game, I am very mindful of what I say when there are kids around. My kids not so much. They’ve heard it all from my by now. But other people’s kids? No *bleeping* way would I dare let loose with the language. It’s just not done.

So to answer my own question of why can’t we just be ourselves, I guess the answer lies in our need as a society to be mindful and respectful of others. We may not always adhere to that desire, but I think, for the most part, we all strive for the sense of decency that unifies us as a people. We sacrifice a little of ourselves (i.e. an open and unfiltered potty mouth) for the benefit of the greater good.

And at the end of the day, isn’t that *bleeping* what it’s all about?

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