Finding My Way

A fire cannot burn without fuel.  Suck out the oxygen and you suck out the life of the flame.  Don’t feed it anything flammable and the fire will slowly fade into an ember, a glowing light reminiscent of what once was.  I think the same applies to stress.  Feed it, and it will rage on with greater fury and intensity.  Conversely, if you focus on the important matters and keep the oxygen away from the ‘small stuff’, you will find the stress becomes manageable if it doesn’t flame out entirely.

I need to remind myself of that as I have been anything but focused lately.  My mind has been all over the place and thus I’ve been unintentionally feeding the fires in my head.  I’ve allowed myself to deviate from the central point in my being, and filled my head with worries of things over which I have no control.  I cannot control other people’s behavior. I cannot speed up time so as to quickly slide down learning curves.  I cannot allow myself to dwell on the irrationality of situations when what I really need to be doing is finding a viable solution to that condition.

For a self proclaimed control freak, it’s tough to just go with the flow and be comfortable continuously reacting and adapting to my surroundings.  A good friend of mine once told me that a person’s ability to adapt is directly proportional to their intelligence.  If that’s the case, I’ve been a complete idiot the last several weeks.  What really stinks is that I cannot pinpoint the root cause of this mental vagueness.  Actually I can.  It’s just not anything I want to admit.

I have found that my mind is like a boat adrift on the water.  Within my boat journeys my soul.  It is a passenger on the voyage of life, and the vessel for this journey is made up my thoughts, ideas, fears, etc.  For the most part, my boat manages to stay in relatively the same area all by itself.  With each gentle breeze or rolling wave that is circumstance, environment and conditions, my mind will sway to and fro and will deviate from where it needs to be.  The solution, I’ve found, is prayer.

Prayer is the anchor that keeps me centered and where I need to be.  Spirituality is my North, always pointing me in the right direction.  My faith and my beliefs are grander than any GPS device.  In fact, you can argue that when trying to figure out where you are in life, GPS stands for God Prefers Spirituality.

I’ve been lazy with my faith lately.  I’ve been too tired to get up on time on Sunday mornings.  I’ve been neglectful to pray before meals or with my kids before they go to bed.  I’ve let silly skirmishes with friends and moronic managers at work get to me and poison my ability to relax and be at peace.  Life happens. Shit happens.  Things rarely go as planned.  There is one constant, however, on which I can always rely and which has never let me down.  Given that it lives inside all us, it’s a shame we have such a tough time finding it at times.
9:56 pm est

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