Does anyone know how to slow down time? Perhaps delay the growing up process? Anyone? No? Darn! See, I’ve been internally obsessed lately with my kids growing up. I know they are still both quite young, but everyday I see something new about them. I notice how they turn a new, proverbial corner in the process of going from being little kids to adolescents.
These feelings are amplified whenever I am around friends who have an infant or toddler child. Strollers, diaper bags, formula, nap schedules. I definitely don’t miss those days, but I am saddened when I look back and think about how long ago those days seem. My little babies definitely neither babies nor little any longer.
For example, this was the conversation in my truck as Natalie and I picked up Daniel at his YMCA day-camp.
“Where did you get the balloon, Bubba?”
“From one of my counselors.”
“You all have counselors?” Natalie asked.
“Who’s your favorite counselor, Daniel?”
“Hmmmmmm……is she your girlfriend?” I asked smiling.
“NO!!!!! …………….<pause>…………….Ms. Katie is my girlfriend.”
<laughing> “Oh! Really?”
“Yep! She wears blue makeup on her eyes.”
“It’s called eye-shadow” Natalie was quick to point out.
“No it’s not.”
“Yes it is!”
“No it’s not………”
You get the idea.
So I ask myself, “When did this happen?” Did I miss something? Where was I? I mean, I know I was right here in the middle of it. I think the longest I have been away from my kids since either one of them was born has been 8 days. Of course, this was a result of a business trip, but me traveling for work is virtually non-existent. I see them just about every day, and if by chance I do not I make sure I call them to wish them good night. I have always maintained how fortunate I am with regards to the situation with my kids, and I thank God every night for this.
Still I spend too many private moments worrying about tomorrow. I kill myself thinking about every decision and whether or not I am making the right one. After all, there is no do-over with parenting. You either get it right or you don’t. So I sit, pray, and ask for the strength to be able to focus on today and put faith in tomorrow. It’s not easy and takes a concentrated effort on my part. But when I am able to release the worries of the future in exchange for the joys of today, it is one of the most rewarding feelings in the world.
And for a couple of hours, I get to not be a grown up with my kids.