There’s a certain sense of gratification that comes with being productive.  I am happy because I just put the bed together in the spare bedroom, got a little bit of a workout in, and am down about 5 pounds since last week.  Still, I look around my new place and see nothing but things I still need to get done.  With half my stuff still in boxes, I am trying to get my life into some sort of routine.   Should I work out every Tuesday and Thursday?  What days do I want to make my YMCA days with the kids?  Should I consider taking them swimming twice a week? Maybe I can make Fridays my ride into work day?

But there is something to be said about living spontaneously.  You
know, those plans that just come up seemingly out of nowhere.  That’s what happened today and is another reason for my happiness this evening.  It all started two nights ago as Lee and I were having dinner with a friend.  She was discussing her mother’s house in South Carolina, and we entertained the idea of making a visit.  A little weekend getaway.  That spilled into me remembering something about a Sister Hazel concert in South Carolina sometime this summer.

Needless to say, Lee and I looked up the information first thing the next morning.  Turns out Sister Hazel is having a three day ‘Hazelnut Retreat’ Memorial Day weekend at Isle of Palms, SC.  “Well, I wonder if we can get a good rate on a room?”  After a 10 minute visit to Hotwire.com, the room was booked.  “Well, what about tickets to the show?”  5 minutes later, tickets for the Saturday AND Sunday show were printed out and sitting on the output tray of my printer.  “The drive shouldn’t be too bad, don’t you think?”  7 minutes later, the tickets were accompanied by a TripTik from AAA.com

So we went from novel idea to casual discussion to full-fledged plans in a matter of minutes.  No need to sleep on it.  No need to mull it over.  No need to perhaps maybe consider thinking about the possibility of us going.  Just do it.  Just go for it.  Just live.  Whew!  Nothing like the adrenaline rush that comes with those “<shrug> Fuck It!” moments.  And so it is that Lee and I now have plans for Memorial Day weekend.  And not just plans! Friggin’ AWESOME plans. (I also need to mention that two weeks after that we’re going to see SH again in Orlando!!!!)

I am glad to say that today was a microcosm of where my life is right now.  In my search for some normalcy after a dramatic change, I need to remind myself – and allow myself – to just go with it.  To take it easy and not try to control everything.  To accept that although my life is not where I envisioned it would be, it’s still wonderful and rewarding and exciting and more than I thought it could be.  We try to set so many conditions and parameters in an effort to keep it all together.  But I have found that life doesn’t always follow mathematical formulas, If-Then statements don’t always hold true and logic can be just as fleeting as love.

Today was a great day because I got to make more plans with my special someone.  I got to build on our dream together and take one step closer to that happily-ever-after with her.  And the only thing better than making plans and stating promises is executing those plans and keeping those promises.  And because Lee believes in me, I feel there is nothing I can’t do, planned or otherwise.

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