Most people make resolutions at the beginning of a new year. It makes perfect sense. New year, new life. Out with the old, in with the new. If you’ve read this blog from the beginning, you know all about my previous attempts and failures with this process. But I am thinking of doing something different. Something groundbreaking and monumental. OK…. maybe I’m exaggerating that last part, but it is something fairly unique.
Beginning tomorrow, I am resetting and restating my resolutions. New quarter, new opportunity to make a change in direction and attitude. Not that my current direction and attitude is bad, but I have identified several ‘growth’ areas that I really want to tackle beginning, quite ironically, this April 1st (no fool’n!). I can look back and see how much I’ve grown and changed since the beginning of the year, and I want to make sure I don’t allow myself to get complacent with where, or who, I am. Besides, so much can happen in 90 days.
Case in point. I was listening to Sister Hazel on my drive into work and thought about how my emotional connection or ability to relate to songs has shifted in the last three months. If I look specifically at their last album, Lift, I used to focus on one song in particular. Another Me was my personal anthem. “And I’m waiting for another me / One that can change the pain of yesterday and carry me through another day / And I’m waiting for another me / One in between the burn and the lessons learned / ‘Cause being me ain’t no way to be”. My life was a daily burden. It was a struggle to get through the emotional hangover of everything.
Then, with the help of friends and loved ones – not to mention God’s grace – I decided to turn it around. I decided to be more accepting of God’s will and my situation. I stopped looking over my shoulder and decided to look at the road ahead. I made a choice to embrace all that God gave me, and not dwell on the things I felt had been unfairly taken away. Specifically, I allowed myself to see everything that was right in front of me for such a long time. My angel. My foundation. My saving grace. I hit the button on my iPod to go back two tracks on my SH playlist. “I’ve been restless but you have been so patient / Well I carelessly wasted my time / But you left the door open and you kept the light on / You waited for me to arrive”
Sometimes it takes something as common and mundane as morning traffic to help us realize what it is we’re seeking. It takes a couple of moments of our everyday to find the answers to those questions we ask ourselves. It takes an ‘all of the sudden’ experience to remind us of all the special things in our lives and everything we already have.
A lot of new things kick off tomorrow. Not only do I hope to stick to my game plan, I hope I have the discipline going forward to periodically take the time and assess the things in my life on which I can improve. Whether I accomplish them all or not, the important thing is that I recognize the effort and how far I have come from that dark place of way back when. More importantly, I want to make sure I make the time everyday to appreciate my kids and to thank Lee for getting me to where I am today. I want to look in her deep, blue, soul-stabbing eyes and tell her ….
I’m in the moment
The one where nothing matters
And everything’s alright
I’m seeing things so clearly now
And you’re the reason why
I’m in the moment
And I’ve alive