Memories

Life would just not be life if we did not have memories.  I believe that without memories, we would cease to progress as a society.  Memories are, after all, our past, and the past, in many ways, determines the future.  So it’s nightmarish to think of a life without memories.

It’s also scary to think of not making memories with those people with whom we are close.  After all, isn’t that how we measure life?  “It’s not how many breaths you take, but how many moments you have that take your breath away.” …… or something like that.  Reminiscing, looking back on old times, remembering fondly…….these are just some of the ways we judge ourselves and our lives over the course of time.  And what keep us going are the thoughts and the ideas of making memories in the future.

I spent this weekend in South Florida and had a wonderful time.   From drinking and dancing at Himmarshee Village, to hanging at Starbucks, to nearly passing out at my friend’s uncle’s house in Coconut Grove (note to self: STOP after the 5th glass of wine!), it was a very memorable weekend.  My friend’s house in Pembroke Pines has the feel of a tropical resort, and just getting away and relaxing was very, very nice!  (Thanks again, Miche!)

I came back and caught a movie with another friend.  The movie was ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’ (which got me thinking about memories to begin with), and the fact that I saw it with another friend made for yet another nice memory.

And I sit here attempting to type as I struggle to get my kids to fall asleep.  They are staying with me as I work from home the next couple of days, and even though the days are busy, I hope they eventually look back at the moments we’ve shared and have nothing but happy memories of us together.

After watching the movie Sunday night I felt very sad as I looked back at the relationship I had with Alexandra, my ex-wife.  I think the scene of Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet running through the snow is what triggered the thought process.  Alex and I honeymooned in Tahoe, and I still maintain very fond memories of that trip.  36 inches of snow in 24 hours.  Shoveling every time we wanted to drive somewhere.  Plummeting six to eight feet off the side of a hill into soft, white snow drifts.  It was a very good time.

I ask myself, “What happened?  What went wrong in our marriage?  What got us to the point where we less husband and wife and more like roommates?”  I think the answer is that we stopped making memories together.  We made memories with our kids, our family and our friends, but we stopped sharing experiences and making discoveries and enjoying the little things together.

And like the Sister Hazel song, life got in the way and now I find myself where I am today.  I find myself wondering if I will get to make the memories in the future that I so desperately long to make.  Or will I find myself spending more time looking back and thinking about what could have been?

It’s all about memories.  It’s all about cherishing the good times and learning from the bad ones.  Here’s hoping that you live your life with much more cherishing and a lot less learning.

And don’t you forget that.

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