This is the last entry I will be making in my blog for the time being. I’m pulling a Dave Barry and calling it quits …. for now. See, writing is no fun unless it’s inspired, and I had that inspiration sucked out of me this afternoon. I had the light at the end of the tunnel fizzle out. I looked up at the scoreboard and realized the lead is insurmountable, and I just don’t have the energy to call another play.
Sure, life goes on and there will be other journeys. There is always ‘next season’. But I think it’s time for me to start my off-season. To accept my failures and focus on what comes next. To take the time to get my head straight and accept the consequences of my actions. The consequences of trying too hard, of pressing too much, of not having patience. Yet, I also need to protect myself. I need to protect my health and well being. And I need to protect my sanity and my emotions.
Quitters never win and winners never quit. That’s what my dad always told me. Unfortunately for me, mine was an un-winnable fight, and even if I did win, it was at a huge cost to everyone else. So instead of waiting for the river card, I am folding my hand and walking away from the table. A table I should not have been playing at in the first place.
I have no idea what comes next. I have no idea what I do now. And I don’t think I will really find the answers at the bottom of this bottle of Scotch. But the off-season is for regrouping and rebuilding. Just like the NFL playoffs, every team except one loses the last game they play. It was a valiant effort, but there are no prizes for second place. And the parting gifts are simply memories of better times visible only in the rear view mirror.
I hope this valley is not as deep as it feels, and I hope I find myself at the keyboard again real soon. But until then, thanks for reading and for all the feedback. See you next season.